Monday, June 07, 2010, 5:04 AM
mother fucking emo
I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me.I admit that I can be quite dependent on people, as in, I hate doing things alone.
In fact, rotting at home is not on my top list of things to do.
So, Alex went back to US for 2 weeks (12 days to be exact) to visit his family and friends. I mean he goes back like twice a year or something, to spend time with his mom, dad and grandma.
I guess I tend to forget the fact that he is in fact, born and bred in the States. He does not "belong" here. I think I'm too used to him being around me, though it has only been 6 months.
On the night before he left for his flight in the morning, I became FUCKING upset. Like, FUCKING FUCKING depressed. I didn't really wanna talk to him, hold him or whatever. I thought I'll be fine but nope, I wasn't. Next thing I knew, I started crying, as if he's not coming back anymore.
I know, I FELT DAMN SILLY CAN??? OMG.
I feel upset cuz of the following reasons:
1) I will miss him terribly, since I spend more than 70% of my time with him.
2) I have absolutely no work this week. ZERO. If I've got events or something, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be so upset cuz I will be focusing on something else. Moreover, time flies faster with work. BETTER THAN SITTING AT HOME DOING NOTHING RIGHT??? But no. I have NO WORK!!! How suay is that???
3) My friends are busy cuz they are working. Yes. People working, me not working. I'm not sulking cuz they have more jobs than me (which I usually do, cuz they earn wayyy more than me and they never share!!! ok. joke. no. ok. i'm not joking.), I'm sulking cuz they'll be busy!!! They have no time to play L4D with me!!! This month's pay ain't here yet, so I can't go shopping. Wah lau. Sian max.
4) The L4D at home kinda sucks cuz it's not updated. There's no The Passing!!! WTH. Everyone is playing the updated version, hence, I don't have people to play with!!! I don't like playing with the computer cuz they like to steal my 1st aids and they are seriously rather retarded.
5) No one is home other than my grandma and Coco. Not even my brother.
DAMN NO LIFE RIGHT!!!??? It seems almost like my world only revolves around L4D and Alex. Erm. I was looking at myself and I realised, YES, THAT IS TRUE. My life DOES only revolves around L4D and Alex.
My ex BFF called Mahjong is now unavailable as it requires 3 other players other than myself. Hence, no mahjong.
OMG. How no life can i get? My friends suggested doing something more "productive" such as packing my room, exercising. And I can think of a million excuses not to do those "productive" work.
I don't know why I'm so useless. Yes. I admit I'm useless. I'm too lazy to do anything while I'm complaining about every single thing. I can't be bothered to do up a CV cuz I feel that I haven't enjoyed enough. In fact, I don't really feel like working. It's a NO-CHOICE thing that I have to work cuz I have to pay my sch fees loan and give my parents money and blah blah blah. I'm not complaining. I think I HAVE to do that. But I don't feel like doing it now. But yes, I'm complaining cuz I have no money to spend since I don't have a stable income.
I sometimes envy my rich friends. They can go for trips as and when they like, while I have to save up and sometimes "borrow" money from my parents (by "borrow", I mean "ROB" cuz I don't really return). I have to save up for months. And I admit I'm not the best save-r in the world. I spend a lot of money on shopping and cabbing, both of which I'm trying to cut down now OK!!
Alright, I'm just complaining my ass off. I'm feeling damn emo.
OK. So now I'm gonna do a Q&A for you equally as no life dodos who are rebutting me as I complain virtually.
Q) Since you know you're so dependent on him etc etc, why don't you go to the US with him in the first place?
A) Simple. Due to the following reasons: 1) Because I'm not rich. My last name ain't Gates or Jobs. My parents ain't gonna sponsor my trip hor. I have to save up money one. AND I DID OK!!?? But you think go there very cheap huh? You think Bangkok ah? Airfare was already how much I saved up ok?! I go there don't need to eat liao lah. Spend his? Siao ah? You think his last name is Gates or Jobs ah? He's earning a fair salary but not millions hor! We still need to save money for "rainy" days one leh.
2) For *ahem* models like me, oh, or should I say "talents" like me. (ChaoCheeBye. Later people say I shameless again. Wah lau. People like that Jack Neo's Wendy Chong/Cheng/Chang/Ching or something also can call themselves model, why I cannot? Pls loh, I really am a model mah. No doubt a bit half fucked lah, but then what will you call us? "People-who-model-and-work-in-events" ah? Nabei. sorry. sidetrack.) We know that June is the month to earn more. There will be major events like CommunicAsia, Beerfest etc etc that will be happening during the month of June. Hence, it would not be advisable to go abroad during this period aka got money earn don't wanna earn meh???
3) He's going there solely to visit his family and friends. Not gonna be much shopping and partying. Hence, I shall not waste my money (both saved and to be earned).
Q) Why don't he call you then? Or you call him?
A) SIAO AH? You know how much the overseas call charges not??? That time I called for less than 30 mins + smses while I was in Tokyo, lao niang's hp bills was 300+ bucks hor!!!??? YOU PAY AH?! My dad doesn't own M1 hor! 300+ bucks = me doing at least 1 to 2 events hor!
Q) THEN SKYPE LAH!!!???
A) Ok. This question requires a little bit of explanation. Alex and I wanted to skype. We skyped with he was in Hawaii and Tokyo last dec while I was trapped in Singa-fucking-pore. It is indeed a very good way of communicating since it's free and we can see each other on the video chat. HOWEVER, we have a problem this time. We're 12 hours apart. I'm technically living in his future. When he's up, I'm sleeping. When I'm up, he's sleeping. And seriously, he's been rather busy catching up with his friends and stuff, I can hardly talk to him. Now we've kinda "reduced" to the state of sending each other msgs on FB. ok. I shall not complain further.
Q) Why can't you learn to be more independent? Your friends' bfs go overseas longer than Alex they also ok?
A) Excuse me? I already said I'm very dependent already right? And, my friends' bfs got talk to them almost every night (unless they cannot carry their phone e.g. outfield) ok?? They got talk on msn or skype or whatever ok? It's been days since I last chat with him, I didn't even hear his voice hor. We just send msgs on FB nia.
Q) 12 DAYS NIA!!! Very soon you can see him liao mah!!?? You sad what?
A) Yes. I did mention above that I have no work this week but I'M FUCKING BUSY NEXT WEEK. I have CommAsia and BeerFest from 15th to 20th of June hor!!?? CommAsia from morning to evening, then Beerfest at night ok??? Alex will be back on the 16th but from 15th onwards I'm fucking busy! I can't even spend time with him when he's back!!! And the week after that, he'll be on morning shift the whole week, which means he'll be damn tired every day. Everytime he works morning shift, he will be damn listless the whole day even though he finishes at like 4pm. He'll literally be zombiefied. Do you enjoy spending time with a zombie??? I only enjoy KILLING ZOMBIES ONLINE, not spending time with one. WAH LAU EH.
Q) Got work also complain, no work also complain! Complain what??
A) EH HELLO!? I said I very emo already right? If CommAsia + Beerfest is this week, I will NOT complain a single word I tell you. BUDDHA AHHHH!!! WHY MUST YOU MAKE THOSE EVENTS COME NEXT WEEK!!!??? WHYYY????
Q) Aiyo. You so poor thing, then how do you plan to spend this torturous week?
A) Plan A: Go out and play L4D everyday. Tire myself out so I can sleep till late everyday and I can diet and so time fly faster. Plan B: Watch movies online everyday, bring back some memories. Hopefully I can take my mind off something and that time fly faster. Plan C: Go shopping, so time fly faster. Plan D: Plan B in the morning, Plan C in the noon and Plan A at night (depending on the availability of my friends.)
Does that answer your questions??? Any further questions pls msg me on FB, prepare to be GAN by me.
I shall end this blogpost with something interesting I found.
Remember Lady Gaga's iconic "bow" or "ribbon" hairstyle (shown below)?
Ever since it was seen on Lady Gaga, it became a "fashion statement". Girls started carrying the same look. Xiaxue even gave a "lesson" on her Guide to Life episodes on how to tie one I think.I've always found it cute but never tried it on myself cuz I think I'll look retarded.
ANYWAY, I've been carrying out Plan B the whole of this afternoon. I started watching those old hong kong movies from the 1990s like 倩女幽魂 and 唐伯虎點秋香.
So I was watching 倩女幽魂 and at one scene, I gasped damn loudly.
I saw THIS
OMG!!! IS IT THE SAME HAIR STYLE OR WHAT???!!!
LADY GAGA COPIED HER (in case you don't recognize her, she's 王祖賢 or Joey Wong)!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
Ok lah. Lady Gaga is like how original. Won't copy one lah. But still.... HAHAHAHAHAH
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