|
Wednesday, April 29, 2009, 5:45 AM
emo-ing a day before my paper.
A friend that I recently have been confiding in asked me if I'm ok.He said I'm always send him such sad msgs. Oh well, friend, (if you're reading this and you know who you are) although I told you I'm happy that I'm learning life lessons, I know I'm lying. I know I'm lying when I said I'm happy. I know I'm lying when I look like I couldn't care less. I know I'm lying when I'm still jumping around and playing stupid pranks on people. I know I'm lying when I'm tell myself that everything will get better after the exams and when his internship starts. I know I'm lying when I tell myself that my friends will still be there for me. I know I'm lying when I won't repeat this semester. I know I'm lying when I tell myself and others that I CAN do without him. I know I'm lying when I say my tears have dried and I'm just waiting for the day to come. I know I'm lying when I still see myself living a happily-ever-after life with him next time. I know it's a lie when he still cares for me (sometimes). I know it's a lie when I lay in bed every night thinking I'm still able to hug him next time. I know everything is just a lie... to myself. I AM pretty much living in self denial. I'm not as happy as I look. I'm still care about every single thing in this relationship. I play pranks and joke around just because I wanna hide my sorrows and not make anyone worried (that is, IF, anyone cares about whether I'm sad or not.) I know things won't get any better after the exams. Worse, when he starts his internship. As bad as it sounds, I know he'll meet other chicks and I'm very sure he'll just leave me for a particular her next time. I know my friends are just tired of everything I face. They told me to leave. But I left them instead. I know I did badly this semester. I know I'll take a lot much time to heal from this relationship. I can do without him. My life will still go on, but, a large chunk of it is torn away from me. I know my tears ain't dry yet cuz they're still flowing down now even when I'm just typing this. I really don't want that day to come. I know the happily-ever-after life that I've been imagining will soon be shattered. I know he cares only because he is still human. He ain't that heartless. Yet. I know I will soon be only hugging myself and my tear soaked pillows to bed next time. I know. I'm still human. No matter how upset I was, I still hope for the best in the relationship which I very much cherished and loved for the 2 years. I envy my friends who found their true loves. It's a feeling that has been long gone in mine. I'm just living each day with a heavy heart that this is no longer a man that loves me as much as I love him. This is a man that no longer loves me, in fact. This is a man that I will bid farewell to. It hurts a lot when you know you love someone way more than he does. Now, I understand. This will be a life that seemed so far away. Love is lost. Friends will be lost. It's sad, isn't it? Just be glad, people, that it ain't happening to yours. At the end of it, I shouldn't be sad it's over, I should be happy that it happened. So, David, I really love you. I really do. I'm just sorry that we were never meant to last as much as I wanted to. Call me selfish, call me stupid, call me anything you want. But at the end of the day, I was just driven by the love for you. Don't worry. I'm not some stalker or what. I'm just more mentally prepared now. :...) Thursday, April 23, 2009, 8:56 PM
finally... in the mood for some blogging
I know i know... I disappeared for like 28796187439186y497321947143 million years. I'm back now alright.One word to sum up my life now - screwed. I seriously think I'm gonna retain already. heh. Anyway, I think I should bring back the "Stupid messages I received" segment. Since now, I have facebook + friendster + myspace accounts. I go gather some of the msgs 1st. Then I come back and update. I PROMISE!!! Sunday, April 05, 2009, 10:43 PM
omgomgomg
I was watching S-factor on channel 5 yesterday.Saw a couple of familiar faces... hmmmm BUT THAT SHOW TOTALLY MAKES THE GIRLS LOOK SO BIMBO!!!!!!!! I feel that it's kinda edited to show the ugly and, as I mentioned earlier, VICIOUS side of girls. omg. Can you believe it??? It's almost like the bitchiness from ANTM shipped right over to singapore! I feel that I might get a lot of bashing here but I kinda feel that you can just TELL from the show, who are the real bimbos and who are the act-bimbos. AIYA. I'm sure if I go, I'll look fucking bimbo too. (judging from the way i play foosball) BUT ANYWAY, it sure is an interesting show. BAHAHAHAHAHA. p/s: They should really show more of the audition parts. MWAHAHAHA. Ain't that always the best part of every reality show???? It shows the embarrassing, the ugly, the stupid, the act smart, the BHB... EVERYTHING. |
Profile
WEILING Links
|